dude i'm inner monologue high
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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