whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
