We're like a lot better than the average bears
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
