He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude