Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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