do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
