He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
