just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize