we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
