yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
