so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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