Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
