Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize