2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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