I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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