She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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