he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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