yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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