Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
