i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
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Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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