On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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