omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
should my penis look like a turkey
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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