Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
