The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So squirting runs in the family.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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