How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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