Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
