i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Never joke about your clitoris.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
