Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
