I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
