this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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