Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Holy sore nipples Batman
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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