the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize