So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
