Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
last night I used snow as a chaser
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
