Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize