is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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