Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize