Everything about him screamed your future.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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