I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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