are you still at the devil's house?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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