I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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