who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize