I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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