Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
