I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize