Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Alive.
So much puke
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
