I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize