I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
