Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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