When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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