just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize