I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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