So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize