i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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