He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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