Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
