why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
