Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
