so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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