Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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