No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
