I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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