My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
