What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
