She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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