Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
