I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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