I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
